| ITTVIS to replace all IDL developers with robots [message #59615] |
Tue, 01 April 2008 18:31 |
chris_torrence@NOSPAM
Messages: 528
Registered: March 2007
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Senior Member |
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In a surprise announcement, ITT Visual Information Solutions (a wholly-
owned subsidiary of a large corporation) has declared that it will
replace all IDL developers with "Code Bots" (TM).
Bill 101 Okubo made the announcement, stating: "All our customers knew
that we had at least 500 developers working on IDL. They never
understood why we couldn't implement a single thing that *they*
wanted. It was always what the other guy wanted..." With today's
announcement, ITTVIS has recognized the problem. There will now be 5
Code Bots, who will do all the work of the 500 developers.
"These Code Bots are great!" declared Chris 001 Torrence. "They know
*exactly* what the customer wants. No mistakes, no Live Tools, iTools,
or some such nonsense to improve productivity." Torrence also declared
that IDL's path management is history. "No one wants their path
managed. The IDL path should be free to do as it pleases. From now on,
the entire Internet will be parsed on startup."
"Plus, the Code Bots have another advantage..." stated 001 Torrence.
"No feelings to get hurt. Those IDL developers were always reading
that wild and crazy newsgroup, and actually paying attention to the
comments. Hah! Can you imagine it?"
After a quick DELVAR, the former IDL developers are expected to seek
positions at The Mathworks. Cleve Moler seemed excited to have them -
"Heck, we can always use more people. That's like 500 more toolkits we
can crank out and charge for. Woo hoo."
Finally, with the change, the next version of IDL, 7.0000001, will be
released on Monday at 12:01 am. It is rumored to contain 6000 new math
routines, the IDL-Valhalla Bridge (codename Bifrost), and
"superthreading", which will make all IDL programs run 10 times faster
than native C code.
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